Lyrics - Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the
Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.
On
Christmas
Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.
Relations, sparing no expense,
I'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.("
Just the thing
I need, how nice!")
It doesn't matter how sincere it is,
Nor how heart felt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.
Hark, the
Herald
Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the
Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!
So let the raucous sleighbells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend
Kriss
Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.
Actually,
I did rather well myself this past
Christmas.
The nicest present
I received was a gift certificategood at any hospital for a lobotomy... rather thoughtful.

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