Lyrics - The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman by Half Man Half Biscuit

Well
I heard a lovely rumor,
That
Bette
Midler had a tumor,
So gleefully
I went to tell my friends.
But they said it was a lie,
That she wasn't going to die,"
And by the way, have we got news for you!"
And they told me that the man
That
I had always billed as "
Dad",
Hadn't met my "
Mum" when
I was born.
And they reckon that
I am,
But
I hope to
God
I'm not,
The bastard son of
Dean
Friedman,
The bastard son of
Dean
Friedman.
And my school-work fell behind
With this bombshell on my mind.
Me art teacher said he understood.
But he could only sympathise
With the sadness in my eyes,
Even though he'd shown my his
Magerite!
And in the "
Corridors of
Fear"
I would shed a lovely tear,
As ridicule flew at me from both sides.
And they mocked me in my mocks,
And embroidered in my socks,
The bastard son of
Dean
Friedman,
The bastard son of
Dean
Friedman.
Supercalifragilistic, {?
Barishnamakaclapback. ?}
And you can thank your lucky stars that you're not
The bastard son of
Dean
Friedman,
The bastard son of
Dean
Friedman.

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