Lyrics - The Best Things In Life by Half Man Half Biscuit

My
Uncle
Charlie is a cynical man
And his wifes a touch skeptical, too.
They've got one of those stickers
In the back of their van; it says:
We've seen the prices at the zoo.
Well today
I knocked upon their door
And said that
I was passing,
And charlie launched a scathing attack.
When
I asked him what
I'd done, he said"
You stupid bastard!
We live in a cul-de-sac!"
Went to
Darlene's party; it was fancy dress.
I just stuck an apple in my face.
I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress,
Reckoned he'd beat
Gagarin into space.
He said "
Hi there {? souls! ?}
Like
I'm sorry
I'm late!
But
I was getting done up
As a mobile thrash acetate!"
Me,
I got bored
So
I went home,
Got into bed,
And came to the conclusion...
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a
Birol
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a
Birol
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a
Birol
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a
Birol
On a
Saturday
Night instead of going to a pub.

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