Lyrics - Bruce's Philosophers Song by Monty Python

Immanuel
Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable,
Heidegger,
Heidegger was a boozy begger
Who could think you under the table,
David
Hume could out-consume,
Wilhelm
Freidrich
Hegel.
And
Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as
Schlegel.
There's nothing
Nietzche couldn't teach ya'
Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John
Stuart
Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey everyday.
Aristotle,
Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And
René
Des
Cartes was a drunken fart"
I drink, therefore
I am."
Yes,
Socrates himself is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.

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