Lyrics - Would Have Called You Billy by Potts Sherri

although i call myself a mother,i don't have you in my armsyou're not here to hold and to call my own not here for me to love...but i am your motheralthough others don't see iti carried you inside me for months watched my stomach growwaiting with excitement and fear of the daythat you would join memerely a child myselfi felt your small kicks,i spent the late nightspraying for you and the early mornings being sickuntil one day, far to early, the pains started coming, unlikeanything i have ever felt before i told myself everythingwould be ok, it would all work out, but i was wrongi did not work out as i had planned, nothing like the moviesthere was no little bundle of joy, just a small baby without a chancealready gone, never really here, not a breath in this worlda boy, so small and so perfect,
I'm sure you had your daddies eyes,although you never opened them.as i held you to say good-bye, to the son i will never knowi thought about all the things you would of doneall the trips to the zoo, the smiles, the laughternever will you have your first kiss, never a chance to fall in loveto the others all i am is a messed up teenager,not a human who has feelings of my own,who can experience a loss as well they don't see that i am a mother, as you are not with us, only in our hearts and with me i shall take the memoriesof all the days spent waiting, and dreaming of what wasn't meant to bepeople try to tell me to move on, but i wontit's too hard without youi've tried the sewing, the reading, the help groupsand talking to friends,it's no usei've baked batch after batch of cookies,but nothing seems to ease the paini can see you now, a month old, a year old, graduating, star of the football teamgod took you away from us, for a reason unseen by manyand with him you shall be,until the day i may join youand we will live together once moreto this story there is no happy ending, only more pain and sorroweventually, it will ebb, but for now i must continue,without my son,little william, your friends would have called you billy...........

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